the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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