evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
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You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
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And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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