hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Who died my cat blue again?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize