I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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