She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
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Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
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You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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