I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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