My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
operation have a gay friend backfired
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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