And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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