I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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