Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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