Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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