i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
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He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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