I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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