i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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