We're facebook friends in real life
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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