I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize