I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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