Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize