I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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