he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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