How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize