He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
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Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
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Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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