I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
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The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
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Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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