Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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