he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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