She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize