wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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