ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize