i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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