Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize