Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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