i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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