guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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