How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm really busy with my period
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