Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
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No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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