That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
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