Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize