one might say we're banned from that church
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize