are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
is it fun? or sober?
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