Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize