bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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