omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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