Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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