Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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