She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize