you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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