people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize