I only kidnapped one of them. chill
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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