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You smell like stripper and shame
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
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