she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize